Devotional - Faithfully Waiting On God To Move

 
Faithfully Waiting On God To Move
A Devotional by Toni Walker

All my life you have been faithful,
All my life you have been so, so good,
With every breath that I am able,
I will sing of the goodness of God
-- Goodness of God, song

I not going to say I am cursed because definitely I am not. I'm just waiting. And have been waiting for a very long time. When I was in college, I had an experience I let color my life for decades.

One day I went to a restaurant. I'm not even sure it was a restaurant at this point. Not even sure of the occasion since I didn't go out much. At this place there was a palm reader.  She took my hand and made a bunch of, "ah shucks, sorry, girl" faces and then told me I wouldn't find love till later in life. She then shrugged and moved on to the next table. To her it was nothing, no big deal, but to me being so young and wanting to find love, it crippled me. I was dating someone at the time, but she had shook her head saying it wasn't meant to be. A few years later she was proved to be right when I broke up with that guy.

I'm not sure what her definition of 'late in life' was, but I am in my fifties now and still haven't found who I define as 'the One'. You know who that is, right? The one that will make you feel whole. The one whose puzzle piece fits perfectly with your life's puzzle. The one who loves you in spite of all your flaws. The one who just sees you and smiles... Mine.

I have yet to find that person and wonder if that person is even out there for me. Secretly, I ponder if that palm reader cursed me that day. It wasn't a real curse but instead a thought form attached to me on that day that said -- you're not good enough but -- maybe someday you will be.

I am calling this sort of thought form a Cling-On since this idea of not finding love till I'm older has clung into me so strongly and triggers that 'I'm not good enough' fear deep in my soul that I seem to work on healing daily.

Some people tell me to put it out of my mind or just grin and bear it. Not exactly the best guidance to overcome a toxic Cling-On. One of my Cling-On theories is that if the Cling-On is on you too long it becomes toxic. What way of thinking has reached its time limit or expiration date in your life?

Remember, when we know better, we do better. Today I strive to let go of that old Cling-On and realize that the God who never changes can still see me and love me despite my flaws.

James 1:17 - For I, the Lord, do not change; therefore you, O children of Jacob, are not consumed.

God and Jesus, they never change. They are always the same and their words are true. When we are in the midst of our own struggles and storms, they are the anchor in our storm, keeping our head above water and saving us from succumbing to the enemies tactics.

I let that palm reader convince me that day of something that wasn't true and it poked at me for years. Now I realize I had so much more life to live, so much more life to experience. My journey wasn't over then. It was just beginning.

Jeremiah 29:11 - "For I know the plans I have for you," declared the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."

So, I guess you are wondering... Did I find love yet? Nope. Still waiting on God to move. At this point I'm believing I had to wait this long for a reason. I'm not sure what that reason is, but one day, when "the One" finally shows up, I'll ask him -- hey, what took you so long? Wink!

Proverbs 3:5-6 - Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not on thine own understanding.

Lametations 3:25 - The Lord is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him.

JOURNAL ABOUT IT:

Journal about how you are waiting on the Lord to move in your life. Use both positive and negative perspectives. Get those feelings out. When we see our own feelings expressed on paper, it is only then we can begin to heal. When we keep emotions like this in our head, we sometimes find our way forward blocked. Give yourself a gift. Unburden and uplift yourself.

PRAYER

Hey God, it's me again. You know how I have been waiting all this time for love? I still don't understand why but I just want to thank you for taking your time and finding the perfect person for me. In the meantime, I will keep learning and seeking and defining where I need you to work/heal me in my life. I'll keep you updated on my progress  I know you'll do the same. TY! Amen